#9

If people blog most when they are in a period of introspection, then there's probably no hope that I'll continue blogging when I am once again ensconced within contentment.

I'm pretty happy these days, but I don't feel any sense of contentment. I am restless. In addition to being restless, I am becoming younger.
For the last five years I was becoming an old man. I went to bed early, my life was centered around work and my family, and I neglected myself and was getting fatter and more unhealthy in general. Now with my new single life I don't even know what I want to do from day to day (This does not stop me from making plans) and who I want to be in the future seems more malleable than ever. When I am uncomfortable, I revert and act like "Old Rick", which is funny, because all of those mannerisms, the quiet, observational and philosophical ways were developed in a time when I was as comfortable or more as any man should ever be. And now, when I'm comfortable- especially when drunk- this new guy comes out, "Young Rick", a sort of hybrid of myself as a teenager and my increased sense of responsibility. Is that good? I don't know. I was sure more confident as a teenager. Probably overconfident. But I could use that now. Being comfortable with burning strange bridges is something I need back, though.

Exercise continues to go well. I need to hurry up and take the plunge with the gym membership or else plot myself a lot longer running course, because I've gotten to the point where I can run this whole circuit of mine in 35 minutes with one 2 minute walk period in it. That's a substantial accomplishment from where I was, but it's not actually enough exercise.
I am already sexy, I know.

A tweet back and forth with @willgarroutte reminded me of that great moment in March, when in a moment of weakness I went to my ex's Myspace page and ended up watching a video for one of those farcically naked money grabbing motivational things she's always into. When I feel lonely, I start to miss her- not because of her, per se- just that I'm lonely, and for me she is what I think of when I think of companionship- only natural after 5 years together- but keeping "The Secret" in mind will no doubt remind me of how lousy a match we really were. I don't want to bash on her, but my dad threw half his life away into get-rich-quick schemes; I really didn't need reruns.

Antihistamine, pushups, crunches, then read the importance of being ernest for a little while on my delightful phone and then go to bed. Probably buy a couple accessories for the phone this week.