August 3rd, you were a bitch and I'm glad you are over. Just a barrage of disappointment wrapped in lack of sleep and loneliness. I am quite frankly in shit shape these days and I need something to change here soon.
my power to create contentment is not up to this task. I miss having family.
This is my first post in a long time, maybe tomorrow I'll post about the self improvement plan again. Ha.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
#9
If people blog most when they are in a period of introspection, then there's probably no hope that I'll continue blogging when I am once again ensconced within contentment.
I'm pretty happy these days, but I don't feel any sense of contentment. I am restless. In addition to being restless, I am becoming younger.
For the last five years I was becoming an old man. I went to bed early, my life was centered around work and my family, and I neglected myself and was getting fatter and more unhealthy in general. Now with my new single life I don't even know what I want to do from day to day (This does not stop me from making plans) and who I want to be in the future seems more malleable than ever. When I am uncomfortable, I revert and act like "Old Rick", which is funny, because all of those mannerisms, the quiet, observational and philosophical ways were developed in a time when I was as comfortable or more as any man should ever be. And now, when I'm comfortable- especially when drunk- this new guy comes out, "Young Rick", a sort of hybrid of myself as a teenager and my increased sense of responsibility. Is that good? I don't know. I was sure more confident as a teenager. Probably overconfident. But I could use that now. Being comfortable with burning strange bridges is something I need back, though.
Exercise continues to go well. I need to hurry up and take the plunge with the gym membership or else plot myself a lot longer running course, because I've gotten to the point where I can run this whole circuit of mine in 35 minutes with one 2 minute walk period in it. That's a substantial accomplishment from where I was, but it's not actually enough exercise.
I am already sexy, I know.
A tweet back and forth with @willgarroutte reminded me of that great moment in March, when in a moment of weakness I went to my ex's Myspace page and ended up watching a video for one of those farcically naked money grabbing motivational things she's always into. When I feel lonely, I start to miss her- not because of her, per se- just that I'm lonely, and for me she is what I think of when I think of companionship- only natural after 5 years together- but keeping "The Secret" in mind will no doubt remind me of how lousy a match we really were. I don't want to bash on her, but my dad threw half his life away into get-rich-quick schemes; I really didn't need reruns.
Antihistamine, pushups, crunches, then read the importance of being ernest for a little while on my delightful phone and then go to bed. Probably buy a couple accessories for the phone this week.
I'm pretty happy these days, but I don't feel any sense of contentment. I am restless. In addition to being restless, I am becoming younger.
For the last five years I was becoming an old man. I went to bed early, my life was centered around work and my family, and I neglected myself and was getting fatter and more unhealthy in general. Now with my new single life I don't even know what I want to do from day to day (This does not stop me from making plans) and who I want to be in the future seems more malleable than ever. When I am uncomfortable, I revert and act like "Old Rick", which is funny, because all of those mannerisms, the quiet, observational and philosophical ways were developed in a time when I was as comfortable or more as any man should ever be. And now, when I'm comfortable- especially when drunk- this new guy comes out, "Young Rick", a sort of hybrid of myself as a teenager and my increased sense of responsibility. Is that good? I don't know. I was sure more confident as a teenager. Probably overconfident. But I could use that now. Being comfortable with burning strange bridges is something I need back, though.
Exercise continues to go well. I need to hurry up and take the plunge with the gym membership or else plot myself a lot longer running course, because I've gotten to the point where I can run this whole circuit of mine in 35 minutes with one 2 minute walk period in it. That's a substantial accomplishment from where I was, but it's not actually enough exercise.
I am already sexy, I know.
A tweet back and forth with @willgarroutte reminded me of that great moment in March, when in a moment of weakness I went to my ex's Myspace page and ended up watching a video for one of those farcically naked money grabbing motivational things she's always into. When I feel lonely, I start to miss her- not because of her, per se- just that I'm lonely, and for me she is what I think of when I think of companionship- only natural after 5 years together- but keeping "The Secret" in mind will no doubt remind me of how lousy a match we really were. I don't want to bash on her, but my dad threw half his life away into get-rich-quick schemes; I really didn't need reruns.
Antihistamine, pushups, crunches, then read the importance of being ernest for a little while on my delightful phone and then go to bed. Probably buy a couple accessories for the phone this week.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
#8
man what
Webheads, get ready to experience the exploits of your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man in an entirely new, exciting way when "Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark" opens on Broadway!
Mark your calendars now, thwippers, "Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark" opens on Thursday, February 18, 2010 at Broadway's Hilton Theatre, 213 West 42nd Street. And some lucky Broadway goers will get to see the show when preview performances begin Saturday, January 16, 2010.
Of course a show starring Spider-Man deserves all-star talent and "Turn Off the Dark" has it in spades! Tony® Award-winner Julie Taymor ("The Lion King," "Across The Universe") is not only directing the musical, but she shares writing credits with Glen Berger. Oh, but there's more! Bono and The Edge, 22-time Grammy® Award-winning members of the legendary band U2 are creating new music and lyrics for the show!
Ooookay. I want to bash on U2 and Julie Taymor each, but... man, that is just tooooooo weird.
Webheads, get ready to experience the exploits of your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man in an entirely new, exciting way when "Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark" opens on Broadway!
Mark your calendars now, thwippers, "Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark" opens on Thursday, February 18, 2010 at Broadway's Hilton Theatre, 213 West 42nd Street. And some lucky Broadway goers will get to see the show when preview performances begin Saturday, January 16, 2010.
Of course a show starring Spider-Man deserves all-star talent and "Turn Off the Dark" has it in spades! Tony® Award-winner Julie Taymor ("The Lion King," "Across The Universe") is not only directing the musical, but she shares writing credits with Glen Berger. Oh, but there's more! Bono and The Edge, 22-time Grammy® Award-winning members of the legendary band U2 are creating new music and lyrics for the show!
Ooookay. I want to bash on U2 and Julie Taymor each, but... man, that is just tooooooo weird.
#7
Ok. If I can do that, I can do anything. As soon as I stepped out the door, my knees and ankles told me in no uncertain terms that they expected me to knock it off immediately, and my right side exploded into a fierce stitch on my third block. And you know what? I made today my longest run yet. Probably a bit slower than Monday's, but it's clear I'm getting both stronger and faster- I am cutting short my rest periods now, running for 10-15 minutes at a time and walking for 2-4, lengthening my stride from my tech-run to a real run for most of the way. I can see in the future the rest periods coming farther apart or not at all soon.
All this exercise- biking to work a couple times here and there, and the daily runs- is having a visible effect on my body. I look... well, for me, I look outstanding. My stomach is tightening up- it's still big, but now my chest is my most prominent feature, which looks much less moobish than it has for the past three years (I didn't really have moobies except when I was at 245). Love handles are probably the biggest difference- they're absolutely disappearing.
As proud as I am of today, the knee and joint pain made it clear that a gym membership is in my near future. I need to at least occasionally be able to get this kind of workout in without hitting my knees that hard, and I'd really like to beef up my upper body a bit (Not too much, I'm not looking to have trouble wiping- and I'm not too bad as I stand). I've been eating pretty well, but I think it might be time to get a formula down, start counting calories and really burning some shit off. I'll be researching that tonight, I think. But first, 15 minutes on Llyw's guitar; I'm too tired for much else, but I refuse to let Llyw's generosity go to waste.
Christ, it's 7:15. I need to go to bed early tonight or I won't be any fun for Genevieve tomorrow. All right, goodbye. Maybe tomorrow we'll talk about that god of philosophy thing a bit.
P.S.: Not one Coke since early March, and no caffeine since May 11th. Weird? Yes.
All this exercise- biking to work a couple times here and there, and the daily runs- is having a visible effect on my body. I look... well, for me, I look outstanding. My stomach is tightening up- it's still big, but now my chest is my most prominent feature, which looks much less moobish than it has for the past three years (I didn't really have moobies except when I was at 245). Love handles are probably the biggest difference- they're absolutely disappearing.
As proud as I am of today, the knee and joint pain made it clear that a gym membership is in my near future. I need to at least occasionally be able to get this kind of workout in without hitting my knees that hard, and I'd really like to beef up my upper body a bit (Not too much, I'm not looking to have trouble wiping- and I'm not too bad as I stand). I've been eating pretty well, but I think it might be time to get a formula down, start counting calories and really burning some shit off. I'll be researching that tonight, I think. But first, 15 minutes on Llyw's guitar; I'm too tired for much else, but I refuse to let Llyw's generosity go to waste.
Christ, it's 7:15. I need to go to bed early tonight or I won't be any fun for Genevieve tomorrow. All right, goodbye. Maybe tomorrow we'll talk about that god of philosophy thing a bit.
P.S.: Not one Coke since early March, and no caffeine since May 11th. Weird? Yes.
#6
I just finished Cory Doctorow's Little Brother. I'm kind of mystified by how I feel about it. It was predictable, occasionally moved forward on blatant, flimsy contrivances, and was full of that sort of too-mature teenager conceit that everyone hates about Juno, but I really liked it anyways. This must be what it's like to enjoy Gaiman.
I'm stalling here before taking off on my daily run. I'm super tired- If I slept at all last night, it wasn't long enough for me to have noticed it in between me checking my phone for the time- and I'm running on absolute fumes here. I want to go to the library today and pick up a couple more books on my reading list, but I'll probably put it off till tomorrow- but that's fine, I realize. I'll bring Genevieve.
I miss her pretty bad today. This part sucks.
I'm stalling here before taking off on my daily run. I'm super tired- If I slept at all last night, it wasn't long enough for me to have noticed it in between me checking my phone for the time- and I'm running on absolute fumes here. I want to go to the library today and pick up a couple more books on my reading list, but I'll probably put it off till tomorrow- but that's fine, I realize. I'll bring Genevieve.
I miss her pretty bad today. This part sucks.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
#4
Failed to soccer today, and really pissed of Genevieve in the process. It's a bummer, because I was not only looking forward to it, but Labi seemed to be super jazzed that I would ask to play with his guys. Who look like they fucking know from soccer.
Today I cryptically implied that I would get to the root of the Evil Space Genius thing, and it boils down to this; I want to theme my Self Improvement Project for the year, give myself tangible, if strange, goals.
How does this affect my self-improvement project? What kind of goals does it give me?
1: Fitness
Fitness is a fairly unimportant trait for an Evil Space Genius, and yet they never neglect it. It's important to be in decent health so that you can survive whatever experiments you perform on yourself, and probably also as a willpower exercise.
2: Art
Supervillains love art. And literature. I don't, or at least not enough.
I can't help but think that this is a lack of proper exposure. I have the kind of mind that is supposed to appreciate it. And I did, in fact, get a fair amount of enjoyment from the end of my stint with Faulkner. Difficult is my bread and butter, so by the end of the year I'd like to have read books by Melville, Faulkner and Joyce, as well as completing Naporeon's self improvement list. Lastly, I need an instrument. For real. Guitar sounds nice.
3: Financial
Supervillains get rich by lying, cheating or inventing. I don't know if I'm up for any of those. I'll get back to this.
4:Educational
I would like to be able to make a computer do what I want. Learning C++ and Java are my goals for this, to some extent. I can be realistic. I need a backup computer in the short term- maybe tuesday.
I'll need to edit this later. Don't be lazy, Rick.
Today I cryptically implied that I would get to the root of the Evil Space Genius thing, and it boils down to this; I want to theme my Self Improvement Project for the year, give myself tangible, if strange, goals.
How does this affect my self-improvement project? What kind of goals does it give me?
1: Fitness
Fitness is a fairly unimportant trait for an Evil Space Genius, and yet they never neglect it. It's important to be in decent health so that you can survive whatever experiments you perform on yourself, and probably also as a willpower exercise.
2: Art
Supervillains love art. And literature. I don't, or at least not enough.
I can't help but think that this is a lack of proper exposure. I have the kind of mind that is supposed to appreciate it. And I did, in fact, get a fair amount of enjoyment from the end of my stint with Faulkner. Difficult is my bread and butter, so by the end of the year I'd like to have read books by Melville, Faulkner and Joyce, as well as completing Naporeon's self improvement list. Lastly, I need an instrument. For real. Guitar sounds nice.
3: Financial
Supervillains get rich by lying, cheating or inventing. I don't know if I'm up for any of those. I'll get back to this.
4:Educational
I would like to be able to make a computer do what I want. Learning C++ and Java are my goals for this, to some extent. I can be realistic. I need a backup computer in the short term- maybe tuesday.
I'll need to edit this later. Don't be lazy, Rick.
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